How to Scale 回来 When Your Student is Overcommitted

2024年5月20日 by伊丽莎白·普雷斯顿

6分钟阅读

There are more opportunities than ever for students to explore life, 爱好, and passions inside and outside of schooltime. 许多学生可能会试图平衡他们的学术承诺，同时保持体育运动, 朋友, 工作, 还有家庭责任. 然而，伴随着所有这些机会和责任而来的是过度投入的危险.

While taking on extra responsibilities, 繁重的学业负担, and other commitments can be admirable, there can be a point when a student is doing too much. 然而, a student may not recognize that they are doing too much, 学习太努力, 或者过度扩张.

But how can you tell when your student is doing too much? 你怎么知道他们什么时候在强迫自己变得更好，什么时候他们过度承诺自己到了一个可能弊大于利的地步?

Common Warning Signs of Overcommitment

当一个学生过度提交时，他们可能会表现出他们做得太多的迹象. Here are some common warning signs of overcommitment.

1. Feeling Anxious, Tired, or Overwhelmed

When a student overcommits, they often have a 缺乏呼吸空间 to pause, 放松, and enjoy life. They may feel like there’s always another task hanging over their heads, 这会导致焦虑, 抑郁感, 不知所措. 这可能导致倦怠, 哪一种情况是学生持续感到沮丧或压力，几乎没有时间充电和放松.

2. 学业表现欠佳

在学校内外承担过多的义务会降低学生的学习成绩. 这是因为倦怠会使学生感到疲惫，并产生悲观的看法——这两种情况都不利于在学校取得好成绩.

3. 错过最后期限

If your student is missing deadlines, 那么可能是因为他们的日程安排中没有足够的时间来按时完成工作. 错过最后期限可能会导致你的学生在努力赶上进度时需要做更多的工作, which can increase feelings of anxiety and of being overwhelmed. 这也会让你的学生有更高的风险错过更多的截止日期，陷入一个不健康和低效的循环.

4. 拖延

学生拖延症通常是由学生感到劳累过度、疲惫不堪和缺乏自信引起的担心失败. 如果你发现你的学生在最后一分钟匆忙完成任务, 然后 they may be procrastinating. 和他们谈谈，找出答案 why they are procrastinating and if it is, indeed, because of 倦怠 or overcommitment.

5. 不停地忙

Being overcommitted often means that a student’s schedule is jam-packed, so there is little room for spontaneity. 然而, spontaneity and surprise can be fun 这对孩子们的快乐和帮助他们成长为适应能力强的成年人是必要的.

How to Prevent Overcommitment

帮助你的学生发现他们什么时候做得太多了，并通过在义务和乐趣之间找到更健康的平衡来指导他们学习如何不要过度投入.They keep asking you to tell them what they should do after high school

优先考虑

Students may have difficulty prioritizing their commitments and responsibilities. It’s a difficult skill to learn! 然而, 对任务和活动进行优先排序是必须的，因为这将显示出学生最看重什么，需要在他们的生活中保留什么，而学生可以接受放弃什么.

尝试使用艾森豪威尔矩阵帮助你的学生确定什么是紧急和重要的，什么是不重要的.

Estimate the Time and Energy Commitments Take

学生们可能会过度投入，因为他们低估了任务所需要的时间和精力. 例如, they may think that their homework will take thirty minutes to complete, 但 it really will take an hour to finish.

帮助你的学生, 列出他们所有的承诺，并写下完成相关任务所需的估计时间, 然后, ask them to time themselves actually doing the tasks. This will help your student to visualize their time and see what is 现实合理在正常的一天. 这将使你和你的学生了解你的学生是否在他们的日常工作中做得太多.

制作活动图表

为了帮助你的学生确定他们的优先事项，可以考虑制作一张活动表. 在图表中, 把一周中的每一天放在每一栏的最上面，学生醒着的时间放在每一行. This will help your student visualize their time.

然后, 用便利贴写下你的学生目前所做的活动和责任，并为每个便利贴加上估计的时间. Work with your student to put the sticky notes on the appropriate days. 例如, if your student has swim lessons each Wednesday and Friday for two hours, 然后将“游泳课”添加到周三和周五的栏目中，并将便签贴在与时间相匹配的行中.g., 3:00 p.m. 至下午5时.m.). Don’t forget to add in school time, study time, and family time. 这样做可以帮助你的学生可视化他们每天已经占用的时间.

一旦你和你的学生填写了表格，你的学生目前的职责, 为孩子想要承担的活动和责任做便利贴. Look at what spaces are available in the chart. This will show your student if they have time to take on something new, when they could do the new activity, or if it’s something that they need to say “no” to. It can be a difficult process, 但是，为自己设定现实的期望，了解自己的时间限制是孩子学习重要而有益的时间管理技能的关键，这些技能在他们成年后可以使用.

设定界限

学习如何设定界限和对请求说“不”可能是很难的一课, particularly if your student is a people pleaser. Sometimes, saying “no” can result in the person feeling guilty or anxious. 所以，帮助你的学生驾驭这些感觉，最终会教会他们如何设定界限.

Sometimes students need to learn how to say “no” to their own desires, too. 例如, they may want to do soccer and choir and an internship, 但, 实际, 他们只能做一个. 你可以帮助你的学生确定他们最想做什么，他们有时间做什么. 然后，你可以帮助他们克服害怕错过他们说“不”的活动的恐惧.

If your student expresses anxiety about saying “no” to something, discuss with them why they feel anxious or upset at saying “no.”

即使你的孩子明白不可能做他们想做的每件事, 他们仍然可能会经历难以接受的感觉，他们可能无法参加他们的朋友在上的课，或者不能加入另一个在城市另一边聚会的俱乐部. Caregivers should listen to their children and give them an open and judgement-free space 表达他们的感受. Whether it seems like your student’s reasons are based in logic or emotion, take each one seriously and into consideration. By openly discussing feelings and goals, 护理人员和他们的学生可以努力达成妥协，更好地了解彼此和生活.

过度承担课外义务，甚至学习太多，很少给学生带来积极和健康的结果. 与你的学生保持开放的对话，了解他们的承诺——什么符合他们的梦想, 他们有时间做什么, and what they may have to let go. While it’s a good thing to see a project or activity to its completion, that sometimes isn’t possible, 这没问题. By helping your student with saying “no,优先处理任务, 学会放下一些事情可以让你的学生有时间充电, 放松, 做最好的自己.